The Cyberpunk 2077 Launch, as Told by Steam Reviews

Subnation | Scott Bernberg | January 29, 2021

We’d like to preface today’s edition of “as told by Steam reviews” by saying that we’re confident CD Projekt Red will eventually work through the myriad issues plaguing Cyberpunk 2077 and transform the game into something that will be remembered alongside the company’s other legendary game, The Witcher III (which, incidentally, was a buggy-as-hell mess when it first saw the light of day).

That being said… When will we ever learn?

From Daikatana to Watch Dogs, overhyped game releases have always been a little like the idea of UFOs coming to Earth and delivering highly advanced solutions to all our planet’s problems. It’s not so much that we believe it’s going to happen, it’s that’s we want to believe it will.

So when the delays kept coming for Cyberpunk 2077, our concerns were repeatedly placated by pretty game footage from, what turned out to be some other, more polished parallel universe containing a version of the game we would eventually end up with in December. In our most honest hour as a collective of gamers, we knew deep down that what we were seeing in carefully curated clips in 2018 and 2019 wasn’t the game we were getting. But, maybe we felt that by wishing hard enough it would be. That the illusion would somehow become our reality.

Speaking of honesty, for the straight dope on how we were all feeling on launch day and the weeks that followed, let’s turn once more to the most brutally honest and comically vicious humans in the world: the reviewers of Steam and get their take on the biggest game release of 2020.

Uh, oh. Early forecast is cloudy with a chance of snark…

When your jenky game was announced in 2012…

References!

Ouch! That’s a low one…

Cited for general awesomeness…

We see what you did there…

Hard to pick just one winner, but…

Finally, if you need reassurance that everything is going to be OK, just call up someone who pre-ordered No Man’s Sky. They should be able to soothe your jangled nerves. And if that’s doesn’t work:

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